we're living in a material world...

im back!! i finally remembered the damn password. ok few updates:

*im joining the NAVY - pays for college;;get the hell outta MN;;dad was in
the Navy (so they'll be super proud);;tired of being
treated as a "princess";;chance to grow up;;pay for
lasik;;learn more responsibilities;;prove to others im
not just another girlie girl & that im just as
strong/tough;;explore the world;;get/gain
experience;;i dont want to get stuck in a deadend job
in a cubicle;;basically theyre going to strip me down
to nothing & rebuild me as a better person;;ive gone
through MEPS (military entrance processing
station);;took my asvab (score 58);;if they waiver my
scoliosis i leave earliest is JUNE latest is
OCTOBER...wish me luck!

*if the NAVY dont accept me im going to SAN DIEGO - in the NAVY i was
planning on being a CTI
(translating
languages);;but if i dont
get in im going to
F.I.D.M to learn fashion
merchandising &
business;;Diva & I plan
to live in CA
someday...either way by
the end of this year im
not staying in MN any
longer!

*no more kiel (good thing) - a relationship is hard to keep;;there is a give
& take;;50/50;;we were off balance;;so its good
we ended;;its been a while now (two months+)& i
have moved on;;its for the best

*military men - guys in uniforms what can i say;;i believe erin m. would back
me up on that one;;oh let me introduce him to you;;hes name
is mark;;22;;army;;just got back from iraq;;5'11 around
there;;dirty blonde hair;;skater/snowboarder;;we've be
talking for about a month now;;what happens in vegas
certainly did not stay in vegas...heres something
really sweet he did...i was in CA & he drove from NV (10 hrs
drive) all the way down to san diego to see me, before i got
on the plane back to MN;;erin,diva & i planned out an
elaborate skeem to visit our military boys over
valentines;;shes & diva are heading to virginia;;im going to
colorado;;we are all telling our family we are going to visit
diva at college for the weekend;;

LAW & ORDER - diva and i are going undercover of what we find to be an illegal case involving an innocent minor. this can get ugly...

COLLEGE - mctc is strange. okay maybe cause its a community technical. everyone in my math class were 25+. i am the youngest and the only asian (ha not a difference from sta). there were two white ppl and one of them includes the teacher. only 10 ppl showed up on the first day of class. suprised there are cute boys at mctc. but most of them ended up to be wiggas. (now we dont want a repeat of that do we? we actually might have dejavu in college) i dont know anyone there so i feel sooo alone for the 1st day. glad ali still goes there w. me too bad we dont have the same class but the same lunch. lelani (mother) actually enrolled herself and i in becoming a pro nails technicians. SO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO GET THEIR NAILS DONE I CAN DO THEM AFTER I GET MY NAILS LICENSE. im thinking about doing that for a part time job while in college. tomorrow is my first reading/english class hopefully itll be a little different.

STATE FAIR - bobby, erika, & emily , dat, danny, & tiff went w. me in in the afternoon. the carnies loved us so we got to play for free and got extra stuff animals. ate alot im about to explode. bobby & i were saying ppl are paying to have heart attacks here. list of my favorite fair food:
*BULL BITES (LITTLE SEASONED STEAK CUBES W. HORSERADISH SAUCE
*PORK CHOPS ON A STICK
*MAC & CHEESE ON A STICK
*FUNNEL CAKES W. STRAWBERRY TOPPING POWDER SUGAR & WHIP CREAM
*CHEESE CURDS
*SHRIMP IN DEEP FRIED CREAM CHEESE W. RASBERRY SAUCE
*33 OZ LEMONADE
*CARMEL APPLES
*STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKES
*THE OLIVE STAND AT THE BAZAAR
*SWEET MARTHAS COOKIES
i have never tried alligator on a stick. it looks like and uncook hot dog to me. the spaghetti and meat ball dinner on a stick looks gross. the junk food like twinkes on a stick looks waaaayyy too fattening. i swear going here youll need atleast $50. i ran into tris and some friends. he told his friends this is ASIANS cousin and they were like we love ASIAN (BRIAN). weird my cousin doesnt go to sta yet hes in my yearbook more than me. i met up w. joe, tam an, & liem at night. *TIP* after a certain time usually after the fireworks food are 50% and deals like 2 or 3 for 1 because they need to get rid of them and make fresh ones the next day. so whats your fav fair food?

HURRICANE - um alex hasnt called and hes supposely down in new orleans. the hurricane is hitting there and tourists i heard are stuck there. im beginning to worried. diva is helping me calm down and watches the news to give me updates. i dont have a tv in my room. sigh* such a good friend i love jakey. so alex is suppose to come back monday tomorrow. i decided to wait before i call or text. but i hope hes fine.

i woke up this morning w. tons of ppl calling and leaving voice mails saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY. hieu, liem, tam an & i went to my favorite resturant bucas di beppo! drove all around downtown looking for a damn parking spot. we saw some runner got the shit beat out of him by this group of hoodlums just because he ran through them. poor guy but what an entertainment. afterwards we picked up mai & trang and went to flahertys. i got second tied w. hieu. tam an killed us somehow. played pool and arcade. casino, you ask? my parents took me a day ago. dont worry ill be up there a lot. but this is the last night that us four (hieu, liem, tam an & i) will be together. hieu is leaving for college saturday to st.thomas. but since he is in the seminary thing he isnt allowed to come back home. only once a month and xmas. yes, its upsetting all of my other friends left for college aready. but these are the guys im usually w. things will be strange w.o them. atleast diva will still be here a little longer but when he leaves my world is going to be very boring w.o diva,the rest of the asian crew and the sta crew. ill miss them. sigh* i know we are all going different ways and we are all growing up. it just hasnt hit me yet. and i start college tomorrow! high school went by so fast. but i know i got to let go and grow. the past is now memories. maybe its because of all the grad parties, underage drinking, diva walks/talks, california, and just being w. my friends makes this summer an unforgettable one.

to my friends you know who you are: I HEART* YOU GUYS

hieus parents are out of town for a week. we've been partying every night there. but tonight was the biggest one he threw. we had bacardi watermelon (mmmm...) and miller light. a bunch of ex totino-grace kids were there. some kid name amed and brandon (shu & rokia brought him along) was pretty wasted and said hey hot asians im watching you to me like 10 times. kinda creepy but funny since they were drunk. it was a blast dancing w. shu harsh & rokia. even chad brevris opened up and started dancing. i met this really cool guy name alex. being a sweetie he offered to walk w. me to take kim ly and minh home. we took tons of pictures on our camera phone. as i was making food the guys took a picture of my ass and i told them to enjoy it. lol. we had fun dancing drinking and just chilling. there were other ppl there but i didnt know half of them. tony was drunk for the 1st time in his life. he was dancing and screaming. ive never ever seen him like this and i actually think hes fun to get drunk w. he even gave me a huge hug and yelled yeah i love my cousin jennnnnnnn! aww i think the last time i ever got a hug from him was graduation in a picture or else 2 yrs ago. but tony passed out. alot of kids were wasted. after 2 most of the ppl left the 10 of us left played the communist card game until 3. no cops came it was all good.

so something i remember talking about tonight w. neil and alex. they were talking about relationships. heres somethings ive said:
*ive never been in love and i hate when ppl overuse the term ... its like its got no meaning to it anymore
*sometimes i feel like the guy in the relationship
*im too independent sometimes and its hard for ppl to accept i got tons of guy friends
*i dont like rushing into things
*i have a commitment phobia and i admit it
*little things about ppl creeps me out
*im insecure im a bitch at times i have mood swings and im high maitenence
*i dont like a "whip" guy or too emotional ppl
*i can sense fakers liars etc
*i have troubles opening up to ppl sometimes
*and yes ive been hurt before

as you can see im very complicated. i have a high standard too. finding the right guy wont be easy. im not exactly looking for a bf right now either. i am just soaking up my enjoyment of attention. but maybe ill change my mind someday. as of right now im trying to find out what i really want and im trying to get to know this one guy i met at this party. can you guess who? lol

i got to be autovations final model. only 11 girls in mn got it. wow! autovations was tight. saw tons of import cars. as one of the autovations ladies i got to sign autographs (cant believe ppl ask me for them). there was ppl in line trying to take pictures w. us. i probably took over 300 pictures! met an awsome girl whose just starting out like me. we're both the same age and everything so it was cool. we probably were the too hottest import girls there. amy and i flirted w. the cameras shook our booties and the guys were loving it. i even got to dance w. unknown prophets and even got a chance to talk to the guys backstage. one of the unknown prophets guy name jess asked if i had a bf. i said no and he was like hell no how come. so he took the mic and was like this beautiful lady is single and all the guys went going crazy. the audience was loving how we girls were on stage. guys were like drooling i swear. horny bastards lol. guys would even ask for our numbers. guys asked us to come party w. them afterwards. numberous of ppl came up to us and were like your the most beautiful girl ive ever seen. wow ive never gotten so many attention! this one drunk dude was trying to be all over me though thank god amy pulled me away... even though i admit the guy is a total hottie hes drunk and thats just nasty. everyone was like please pose next to my car. on stage we were throwing away free stuff and the crowd was wild for it. we did a skimpy fashion show. i didnt wear a swimsuit cause im so insecure about my body. i was a lil' top and a very mini skirt. ppl were just screaming my name and everything. i felt like a celebrity. let me tell you i dont mind doing this for a living. my biggest supporters were harsh, tony, hieu, liem, and billy. without their help i wouldnt be there. jermey saw me and he was like omg tony was telling the truth you are an import model now. ricky and junaid was like wow looking good jenny and congrats on making it. i even ran into dj, patrick, andy, tj, and one of their friend. they were like oh hell no that was you on stage...they were cheering for me when i went on stage. i miss those ne mpls boys. doedoe my cousin and his gang was there. they were like damn girl you changed in the past 4 yrs youre so hot now (um thanks i guess like i was ugly before lol). they asked for my number and i said ask doedoe and all the guys was like oh hell no hed beat our ass. couple of qui viet customers were there and they were like arent you that waitress. this was like a first time hot guys were paying attention to me. i love this job. you even get paid 300$ for a night! what annoyed me was these girls who werent even offical models came to the show and was like fake posing. autovations girls wore all black. pulposion wants me to model now for their new magazine coming out. i even had a few offers from other places. an afterparty was thrown. by then i was too tired. i havent eaten all day. the asian crew was probably the last to live. all the cars lined up and rev their engines. fucking insane. we thought hieu gotten a ticket but it turns out to be some fake warning. was this some kind of security joke? overall i had a blast. hopefully my import modeling career will take off from here.

autovationsshow.com is putting out modeling pictures up after they update them.

in the mean time i have a few pics of my own (pictures were taken by billy) check them out on my webshot page: http://community.webshots.com/album/429560627vDXBnu

friday - the asian crew decided to go out. this time Hieu brought his friend Neal along. went out to eat at yummy's. decided to be big ballin' going downtown. Hieu & Neal thought it be funny if i called up one of their friend and talk to him. ive heard this friend thought i was hot and was apparently lost for words when talking to me. so thats why they wanted me to call. well i left a sexy message. suprised he called back and couple times too. the good news i found out the guy is italian. anyone who knows me knows that im obsess w. anything italian! Tam An got pulled over by some bike cop for driving on a taxi only street which we didnt know. they took his info and thats it, no ticket i guess or hope. went down to university to see the weekend racer. ran into Corey and his car. speaking of cars:

AUG.20 (SAT.)- AUTOVATION IMPORT CAR SHOWS WITH ONLY LIGHTS POWERING...HOPEFULLY GETTING MY IMPORT MODELING CAREER STARTING...SO COME SEE!

saturday - Lalani wanted me to get in touch with my "asian side". so i went with some cousins to this vietnamese picnic. got hit on my some old creep who went to school w. my aunt Emily, saying he was 19. bullshit so i told him who my aunt was and he took a hike. saw my Dat & Lauren too. Dats friends were like wow you new can i get your number Dat how come you never told me you knew her?! Dat laughed and said shes 17 and shes Laurens cousin. the guy was the 1st cute asian ive ever seen and hes not short but actually tall and buff. too bad hes Dats friend. lol im not looking for anything really right now. next stop Phi house up in ham lake. Anh (Phis sister) were laughing how when she was a teen shed get caught sneeking out. same story here. guess im going to grow up like all my cousins. went to see four brothers w. phi and the blaine guys Josh and Jeff. funny how they agrued who pays for my ticket food and who gets to sit next to me. afterwards we drove to some playground and all layed together watching the stars. it was nice to just stare at the stars and talk with your friends and remember the night. finally sat in Joshs basement. we pretended we were that 70s show character. i was jackie obivously. im so suprised when we talked about girls. apparently like they dont like the comformity but a girl who stands out. less makeup is good and talkative. they say blaine girls are snotty. haha like sta girls arent? but the guys says look isnt everything. true. i love my blaine guys. ended up sleeping at my aunts since i couldnt go home.

sunday - grams home from cali. the house finally has wood floors. ended up meeting the asian crew again. played intial d on unversity pool hall. i swear this is our hangout. billy the italian and i were texting and came by to play some intial d. the guys paid for me. aww thank you guys i love you. ok billy paid for me and purposly lost to me. i mean hes a pro at this and i just played it once. i thought it was cute. went to mickeyd's with the crew. next week hieus parents are gone to cali for a whole week. so party time they want me to sleep over. but boys ugh...im not sure if i want anything but hey you can hangout w. them couldnt you?

sigh* this is what summer is all about. hanging out with w. the ppl you care about and having a good time. diffinately a memory of '05 summer!

Diva and I went out to lunch at Applebees.Stopped by to pick him up and I almost gave Dane a heartattack.Apparently they (the crew) stayed up all night at Scott's.Diva and I had our diva talks.(I'm going to miss all of our memories when he leaves).Our favorite subject for the day was Slut Boy*.Apparently he was trying to get with me.Sorry I'm picky and don't just get with anyone.Diva and I envisioned us living in California someday going out to lunch and having our diva talks.We also decided to go on a destiny road trip.Ok story time:

Diva wants to me to go pick him up from Stout for a basketball game.Not just any game,but there is a certain player he wished to see again.Someone from his childhood.

My story is a little different.Do you believe in fate?About 3 summers ago,I worked at the State Fair with my friends.We met up with some AHA hockey players,they were older than us by a grade then (they won state that year too).I thought this one kid was kinda cute.Get to the point,he played pool and won a stuffed SpongeBob Square Pants.I was cold he gave it to me to keep "warm".It ended up raining and the group walked in it,just dancing having a good time,while everyone who stood underneth the building was watching us.Well #23 and I talked about gymnastics and hockey.Fastforward...one of his friend talked on the phone couple times afterward trying to hook us up.I found out he thought I was cute and was interested.I've only talked to #23 a few times.School started,lets just say I talking to Mike T. and #23 was out of my life,or so I thought.Don't you sometimes think "oh I wonder how so and so are doing" and you don't think much of it.So two years has past...one day my cousin Nick was looking online for minor league hockey he wanted to play for.He read out loud the article for the Fargo-Moorhead Jets.AND LORD AND BE HOLD THERE WAS A PICTURE OF #23!!!(He really didn't change much and he still had the number #23)I almosted dropped dead.Is this fate/sign or what is this?Nick wanted to go see how they played and the nearest game was in Alexandria.Diva and I wanted to steal a car and just drive up there.I would never talk to him though,I honestly don't think he will remember and it'll just be weird.I be hearing him now on hockey news.Apparently he's on his way becoming a big player.But this is stupid of me to still think "WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED".So again I forgot about it again.Fastforward again...random day when I was fighting with this guy I was sort of seeing(back then)...#23 HAD MYSPACE and he added me.Okay, is it me or is there something telling me...Its been like three years...Do you believe in FATE?

So there I made up my mind I am going to see him.Call me crazy but I know Diva and I are in for a BIG suprise.Sten came by to pick us up.I can't believe people are already going away to college.I gave him a hug and said good luck.The rest of the day the asian household was putting in wood floors.Who knew construction can be hard work.I had orientation at MCTC.It's so diverse compared to STA.Everyone was like over 25.My mom Lalani went with me.Everyone thought she was a student and that we were sisters.Everyone found out I was still 17, they were like OMG SO YOUNG.They all ended up really nice.But c'mon I had a date with my friend Hieu.It took like 3 hours to get out of there.

Hieu called later and said Jen some bad new.Apparently one of his mom's eyes where twitching and thats A BAD LUCK SIGN.Ended going over to play some video games and talked.Friday he'll make it up.I thank GOD for Hieu.Any time I need to talk or support HE IS ALWAYS THERE.I talked to my aunt later that night for like an hour.We talked about the people she met in her life and how we learned from our mistakes and etc.I can honestly say this I've grown up smarter and stronger from my past and I'm still learning.Sometimes you got to stop and think is it really worth it?HONESTLY IT DIDN'T BOTHER ME I DIDN'T SEEM TO CARE JUST ANOTHER DRAMA I DON'T NEED,to clear that up with people.(Been there done that kind of thing,so it wasn't something new)These past few days has actually BEEN GOOD.I feel alot happier and I've had time to grow.

Remember #23? Don't push fate...It's true when they say good things do come for those who wait.

TO BE CONTINUE.....

Ps #23's Pic Is In My Community Webshot Under Misc.

i havent talk to much people since i got back from cali. i feel theres something missing like i was sent on a mission in cali to do something. but i didnt accomplish anything other than killing my credit card. but last night ive finally got a chance to talk to a long time friend who i havent seen in like forever. his name is michael seawell. its the weekend so obviously he was drunk. interesting conversation w/ him. we decided we're going to party more often together. him and peter z are leaving me for umd. cant believe we're all leaving for college so soon. atleast im going to be w/ alison dane and shuman for another year. ill be transferring down to san diego afterwards. funny we'll be in the same class too. another stavhs at mctc.

diva and i decided to have a spa day. we want to get all pretty up. i have a makeover plan. i want:
*hair dyed light brown (did but not light enough)
*blue contacts (got it)
*lasik eye surgery (consultation on tues.)
*dental reconstruction (appointment on the 17th)
*tanning (i got a tanning package but asians skin dont tan as well)

speaking of beauty and other plastic crap... dane said the crew believes my ass is hot!

i need another vacation. bobby and erika says how about a mini road trip to wisconsin dell. colleen and diva (jakey) are thinking chicago or duluth. i just miss my house in california.